


He Always Comes Back

by wolfdogmcu



Series: Stucky [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Steve didn't do the dumb thing, Stucky - Freeform, and we love him for that, post Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:49:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21740464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfdogmcu/pseuds/wolfdogmcu
Summary: Bucky pines for Steve while he's away on a mission, contemplating and reminiscing about their lives.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Stucky [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566961
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	He Always Comes Back

Sunset came in quickly. It was the start of December, and the clear sky was a soft pink. Bucky pushed his foot against the ground, getting the tyre swing moving. The cold bit at his cheeks, easily getting through the thick fuzz of his beard. With his metal hand, he tugged his scarf up, and shivered. The tree he watched the horizon from was engulfed by the growing shade. Though this wasn’t pleasant, there was no denying that he had been colder than this before.

As had the man he was currently missing. Steve had been dragged off on some mission, and had now been away for almost three weeks. He would have appreciated the joke about their time on ice, before turning it around to convince Bucky to go inside. Admittedly, he knew he should go back into the building, where the cold wouldn't be sinking through his coat and into his bones, but he couldn't bring himself to.

It was too quiet. Of course, it wasn't quiet in such a literal interpretation of the word. The rest of the Avengers were there, and they tended to cause a racket. But Bucky would block most of them out by standard, and he wasn't particularly close with any of them. He got on well with Shuri, but she was always busy, and made too many references that went over his head. Besides, she wasn’t Steve.

The White Wolf was having trouble sleeping. Most nights, he couldn't even get into the bed. Having grown so used to curling up in Steve's arms, hearing the soft rise and fall of his breath, his absence was agonising. Their bed was too big for just one man. It was freezing. Though it smelled like Steve, and his cologne, it only made him ache for him to be there. 

Naturally, he was fairly sleep deprived. His head pounded, and his whole body ached. It was like he was going cold turkey; his body was in withdrawal. Bucky found it silly upon consideration. Steve would be back, and it would all be fine. The man would catch him up on the things he'd done, and they'd likely relax on the bed for a while as Steve recovered.

In truth, there was valid reasoning to Bucky's concerns. He and Steve had said a lot of goodbyes over the years, and though things were stable now, it was always in the back of his mind. Steve was, and had always been, his world. He existed as an anchor to the present, a fond look to the past, and a hope for the future. In all the incidents Bucky had fallen into, he had never really expected much to see much of any future. With his mind wiped so often, he hardly knew who he was for a long time.

He knew who he was with Steve. In his eyes, he would always remain 'his Bucky', the man who protected him all those years ago. The man who was by his side through everything, even when he didn’t conventionally need protecting anymore. He was still man he'd fallen in love with when they were just two stupid kids in Brooklyn. It sparked a warmth in his heart.

Though Bucky hadn't had much in the way of sleep, those moments where it had taken him over were less than enjoyable. He had been prone to nightmares anyway, though they worsened after treatment - something Shuri assured him would be normal after the removal of his conditioning. With time, they would subside. But these were more than the nightmares that came with remembering a lifetime of horrible actions. This pertained to Steve. 

Three dreams struck him enough that thinking about them was causing him to tear up. The first revolved around water, but as opposed to a fall deep into it, it involved being swallowed by the sea. Bucky and Steve would be stood on the shoreline, back to the ocean. He could hear the screech of seagulls, and the children running on the boardwalk. Suddenly, a great wave would roll over, pulling Steve into the depths and leaving Bucky helpless in the sand, choking on the salty water.

The second dream revolved around being hunted. He and Steve would be in the woods, on some kind of mission to destroy a 'horrid beast', as it was described to them. Going deeper shrouded them in darkness; they could hardly make each other out. Every time Bucky would try to speak, he couldn’t open his mouth. In the shadows, he could only just see Steve ahead of him. The beast would lunge from the bracken, and seize the blonde in its teeth. 

Those were all just typical nightmares. Despite the distress they brought, they were what people generally envisioned when they thought about bad dreams. But the third didn't quite fit into this rhetoric. In the third, it was just after Thanos was defeated. Steve went away with the stones. They exchanged their playful 'you're taking all the stupid with you' dialogue just before he left. When he returned, he was an old man. He had settled down with Peggy. Bucky had been abandoned.

He was suddenly struck with sobs, head in his hands as the thoughts consumed him, feeling as wracked by the concept as he had been when he first awoke after the dream. Bucky had always maintained a sense of jealousy about Peggy, which meant that this hurt all the more. Abandonment made his stomach sink. Even though it was too late for this to happen, and he and Steve were happy, the concept still terrified him.

For a moment, he stumbled down the path of 'what if's that he had a tendency to do. If Steve didn't come back as he was, and as he _did_ , then Bucky would be undeniably alone. Sam was the closest approximation he currently had to a friend as it stood, and that thought was daunting. It presented a separate issue however- he would be the only 40s boy left here. 

That sense of isolation was suffocating. Unlike Steve, who had a lot of time to catch up, Bucky was still a little behind. All the times his brain had been fried had left him with a little more trouble learning things, and his shorter time as himself in the present meant less exposure to the new ways of life. Without Steve, Bucky would be stranded in a world he did not understand, and he did not know how well he would survive.

While lost in thought, he kicked his boots through the leaves beneath him as he rocked on the swing. Sounds in the sky snapped him from his stupor, as birds swept the air in the fading light. Their songs were soothing, travelling along and out of the complex in an extended discussion. The wind nudged the branches above him.

Still being tugged at by an urge to reminisce, Bucky pulled his wallet from his coat. Flipping it open, he glanced at the picture slid inside of it, behind a sheet of plastic. As deftly as he could, he pulled it out and admired it. In the photo, he and Steve were stood with an arm over the other's shoulder. Bucky was in his army gear, Steve was dolled up as Captain America - this was very shortly after the serum. He flipped it over.

_I'm with you 'til the end of the line._

This phrase was one that they had shared over the years, in many contexts. Most prominently, for Bucky anyway, he could recall how it caused a fight in his head between his programming and their companionship. But here, on the back of a black and white photograph swiped from the desk of a publisher, Steve had written that line in his best handwriting. He had done this to remind him that, regardless of where being Captain America would take him, he would always be there with Bucky.

This sentiment followed him for a long time. In his lonely stay in Wakanda, he would often spend a large portion of his isolation staring at the photograph. Shuri asked him about it once, and he explained as best as he could the backstory. He was stifling tears at the time, and she appeared moved by it. From its frequent observations, the edges of the print were fraying, and where his fingers usually gripped it he had left light marks from the oils. 

Missing Steve wasn't abnormal for him, but he did wonder what it was like on the flipside. He found himself curious as to how the man was feeling, so far away. The natural progression was to consider the snap, still fresh in his mind. His name was the last thing he said before he crumbled, and he tried to think about how Steve would have handled it. Judging by his reaction when they were able to soundly reunite, he must have been fairly upset.

The fight itself was too serious for more than a nod towards each other. In the wake of it, when victory came to be, they practically fell into each other's arms. This was one of the few times he had seen Steve break down -- _really_ break down. The only things he managed to say to the Wolf were a repeated string of _'I love you'_ s, and the eventual _'I thought this time you wouldn't come back.'_

Above him, the pastel pinks of sunset were slowly succumbing to the dark blue of the night. Frostiness bit the air, much colder than it had been when he first came out. He retreated further into the soft wool of his scarf. An owl’s hoots caught the breeze; a deer bellowed in the woods. Bucky was shivering. His teeth chattered, and he pulled his arms in towards his body. The wet of his cheeks felt icy. 

“You’ll freeze.” 

Bucky practically fell over himself when the voice hit his ears. Warm in tone, speaking with a jovial kick to it that just masked a genuine concern. He could barely find his feet as he stumbled off of the tyre swing. It was Steve. Bucky near enough launched himself into the man’s arms. A bright chuckle filled the air as Steve tightly clutched the man close to him, kissing his head and ruffling his hair. 

The brunette was momentarily overwhelmed, finally feeling those arms around him. Cedarwood and clove caught his nose as he nuzzled against Steve’s neck, his cologne strong with notes of safety, alongside overtones of home. He could have stayed here forever. The frost melted from his bones the moment Steve returned to him.  
“I’m sorry I had to go,” The blonde managed, “I missed you.”   
“I missed you too.” 

When he looked up to see Steve’s face, he noticed he was a little bit teary. He lifted his human hand, cupping his cheek.  
“Don’t do that.”   
“Don’t do what?” He laughed as he tipped his hand against Bucky’s palm.   
“Cry. Please don’t.”   
“Say that to yourself, Barnes,” He swept his thumb over his cheek.

Steve lead him over to the bench, encouraging him to sit. While they walked, he subtly messed with something in his pocket. When Bucky sat, he did not sit beside him, evidently confusing the man. There was a little bit of fun in this; Bucky had a tendency to get wiggly and impatient. It was cute. He tilted his head, creasing his brow with a pout, looking like a puzzled dog. Just as he went to speak, Steve moved. 

He was on one knee. 

If Bucky wasn’t crying enough before, he absolutely was now. He became a mess of sobs, soaking his grinning face with happy tears. Laughter - a mix of nervousness, excitement, and undeniable joy - spilled from his lips. Steve, too, was now crying more than he had been. His chuckle echoed Bucky’s.  
To his best attempt, voice crackling with emotion, he asked the question.   
“Will you marry me?”   
There were four mangled attempts at the word ‘yes’ as Bucky nodded his head, holding out his shaking hand. 

For a moment, there was a bit of puzzlement as to which hand was technically correct for the ring, but they settled on the human one as it wouldn’t work well on the metal. Steve stood from the floor; Bucky moved from the bench. He draped his arms around the taller man’s neck.

“I can’t take the distance anymore. The idea of you here, on your own, I can’t cope with it, Bucky. After everything. I can’t let you go,” Steve’s voice was shaky with tears as he pressed the brunette flush against him, “I love you so much. I don’t want this hero’s life anymore. I just… I want us. I want a life with you.”  
“That’s all I could ever want.”

Draped in the faded glow of the moon, beneath the star speckled sky, the couple shared their first kiss as fiances. 


End file.
